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I have read many of your blogs.  I use networking as a tool for professional advancement as you repeatedly suggest, but, frankly, it is not working.  When I meet people and give them my card, they seem eager to help.  When I contact them, few respond and those that do withhold critical information.  My longstanding professional colleagues are not helpful either.  They do not return my calls or respond to my emails.  I am very disappointed in your strategy.  Networking is not working.

I am sorry you are having such a hard time of it.  It sounds as if you have been taking all of the right steps, but the yield is disappointing.  Do you have any ideas about why people might be reluctant to help you? From your question, it appears the general trend is for people to shy away from you.  You are not reporting one isolated incident.  Rather, you are describing a pattern of behavior.

I think an important question to ask yourself is: What is your pattern of behavior?

Are you approaching people in a sincere and cordial way?  Are you working with a very tight-knit circle of professionals who have somehow identified you as an outside or intruder?  Is there some “buzz” about you in your field such that your peers shy away from endorsing your candidacy or giving you help?

I do not know which of these questions is most relevant or how you come across to others.  Therefore, I urge you to dig a little deeper to see what you can uncover.  Start with the persons whom you trust most: your references. Invite them out for coffee, and have candid conversations to see if you can discover what might be at play here.  After several such meetings, you should have important clues about what might be going on.  Most likely, it is a combination of factors.  For instance, because of your anxiety, you may be coming on a little too strong when you ask for assistance.  One of the ironies of the current market is that, despite relatively high unemployment rates in certain locations in the country, professionals must NOT appear to be desperate.  What you perceive as positive energy may translate as desperation which will have an adverse impact on your networking.

There are other possibilities, too.  It may be that at some time in the past, you locked horns with a well-placed professional in your field, and this difference of opinion still haunts your efforts.  Or, it may be that your “friends” are not, in fact, your most loyal supporters which would require you to shift your allegiance to get better results.

Whatever the factors working against you, know there are equally powerful solutions.  Coach yourself, or have someone help you, to adopt just the right demeanor and approach for your industry.  If necessary, make amends, say a few apologies and build back some bridges to ease the way for productive networking.  As well, you may need to recruit new allies and friends because forging new paths frequently requires new partners.

As you research and analyze yourself and others, you will uncover new ways to make progress in your career and in your life.  I wish the best of luck to you. 

Contact Karen Alphonse at Karena@execSearches.com or visit ExecSearches.com for more information about our career coaching services.

ExecSearches.com is a job board for nonprofit job seekers interested in fundraising, management and executive nonprofit jobs.

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