We all know changing jobs is one of the most stressful of human activities.  The job search itself can be a lengthy trial testing the hardiest of souls.  It is fraught with pitfalls, traps and treacherous moments that can derail you at any time.  Knowing how to use your Emotional Intelligence (EQ) can make all the difference to your career success.

Here are some techniques for developing your EQ that will enable you to take the job search process in your stride, to settle more quickly into the role you land, and to be a high performer in the workplace.

According to experts in the field, two of the key aspects of Emotional Intelligence are Self-Awareness and Self-Management:

Self-Awareness.

How much self-knowledge do you really have?  Do you know what conditions you require to really flourish at work?  Do you know at what sort of work you excel (never mind what your résumé states)?  Can you recognize certain patterns or tendencies you fall into at work? Are you aware of the habits you create around your job search? Do you know what impact you have on people around you – positive or negative?

Try this exercise:

1. Suspend all judgment, and cast yourself as a scientist whose principal subject is yourself.
2. Observe yourself for an hour or two, or for a whole day if you can stand it.
3. Write down what you notice about your behavior.
4. Also write down any feelings or emotions you experience at different times.
5. Repeat this exercise every day for a week, and see what patterns emerge.
6. For extra credit, consider asking five people who know you well to tell you how they see you.  Other people’s perceptions are often a rich source of insight.

You may find you have some tendencies or habits that serve you well. For example, you are an early riser and you are productive in your job search early in the day. Or, you are a naturally sociable person, so you set up several networking meetings to have company.  But, you also may discover some aspects of yourself that are not serving you well. For example, you may be inclined to procrastinate, so your job search cannot progress. Or, you may be fearful of rejection, so you don’t make those calls that might lead you to the next opportunity.  With greater self-awareness, you can leverage your strengths and natural capabilities and take steps to shore up areas that may be getting in your way.

Self-Management.

Knowing how to manage yourself well does not necessarily follow being self-aware.  You may know what sets you off, what triggers anxiety, anger or frustration, but you may do nothing about it.  Managing yourself requires a certain amount of motivation, discipline and practice. Practice is, indeed, required as you learn new ways of doing things that are not entirely comfortable at first.

The earlier exercise in self-observation is really useful to get you to see what you do and how you behave in an objective, non-partisan way.  Once that exercise is complete, ask yourself these questions:

• Is what I am doing going to help my job search?  If so, how can I do more of it?
• Is what I am doing going to hurt my job search?  If so, what should I be doing instead?

Decide what positive actions you should take, then practice them until they become new habits.  It is as simple as that.  And, it is probably more productive than berating yourself for all the vices to which you may be prey.

Here is an example:

Joseph is an anxious person especially now that he is on his third interview for a dream job.  He is terrified something will go wrong and catastrophizes about all the possibilities of failure.  If he continues in this way, without learning to manage his emotions better, he may cause his own downfall.  He will probably not think clearly in the next interview, he may call or follow up too often, he will probably not rest or relax enough to be fully prepared for his next meeting, and he will not convey the sense of ease and confidence winning candidates project.

What should he do?

He needs to practice clearing his mind of all fears and develop some techniques of thinking more positively about his achievements and his value to the organization. Then, he should rehearse the key points he wishes to make, and focus on calming down enough to listen attentively to what people are saying to him so he can masterfully respond.

Try and flex your EQ muscles, and let me know what effect greater self-awareness and self-management have on your job search.

Fredia Woolf , founder of Woolf Consulting, helps people to manage change and achieve positive results for their careers, teams and organizations.  As an organizational consultant and leadership coach, she works with clients to increase their effectiveness and impact, to manage transitions successfully, and to define and create a leadership legacy. She can be reached at fwoolf@woolfconsulting.com.

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Last updated on February 3rd, 2010 at 03:33 am