Wow, did I just have one of those moments that made my personal finance blood run cold.

Before I begin, you should know that I really, really like knowing how much things are going to cost ahead of time. You should also know that “really, really like” is a huge understatement.

The story begins when I took my kiddo to the eye doctor for an annual check-up. Normally, these are very routine visits and everything is reasonably predictable all the way down to the final cost. This year’s visit was different because we were adding contacts to the equation. A contacts wearer myself, as is my husband, I thought I had the basics down in terms of anticipated cost from exam to product. While I couldn’t know the actual price ahead of time, as that is prescription dependent, I do know the cost of my husband’s, and I know the cost of mine (and, for my more difficult prescription, mine are double the cost of my husband’s – gulp). Based on our costs, I made the assumption (uh-oh) that we have a good range within which the new ones should fall.

I spare you of the post-exam banter and give you the big reveal up front: The contacts recommended for the kiddo amount to three times more expensive than mine. (More than mine? Really?!) I sat there stunned. I started furiously calculating all kinds of scenarios in my head so I could try to put all of this in perspective and hold an intelligent conversation. Conversely, the doctor looked at me with a very clear “I’m not seeing the problem here” expression.

I have to admit, I was a bit surprised to see that the doctor didn’t get it. Did my facial expression not speak volumes? Did my inquiry comparing the price of mine to the ones she just quoted not clarify my issues? Evidently not. But, through my mental mess, I had enough presence of mind to wonder if it was really reasonable for me to expect that she not only get my problem but that she also make me feel better. She’s the doctor. From where I sit, her job should encompass examining the health and needs of eyes and make a determination for correction. The cost of that correction is my responsibility, not hers.

Driving away from the appointment, though, I couldn’t stop dissecting what just happened in an effort to avoid such frustration in the future. I quickly concluded that the situation rattled my realm of expectations. Prior to the appointment, I based my knowledge only on my own, limited experiences without realizing that the range of possibilities I’d identified was simply not big enough. The reasons for my range turned into my expectations which were then not met.

How many times are we flustered, aggravated or really upset when someone doesn’t meet our expectations? We often hear and talk about expectations as they apply to familial and romantic relationships, but let’s not forget that people are people, and expectations of each other and of situations in which we are involved spill right into the workplace. There are innumerable situations in which we can find ourselves professionally disappointed including:

• the times we have applied for a job and been frustrated with the process not because the process itself was poor but because it wasn’t what we thought it was going to be.
• when we’ve accepted a position and been negatively surprised once on board. If this has happened to you, were your original expectations reasonable? Or did you need to step back, take in the new scenery and shift your mental paradigm?
• the times we have been disappointed in a salary offer. Could such a surprise have been avoided? (Check out what Carmel Napolitano has to say about this!)
• when we are frustrated with the work of an employee because our expectations are not being met. In such a case, do you ask yourself if your expectations are both fair and clear?

The role and use of expectations encompasses every part of our daily lives in and out of work; take a close look at yours, and do what you can to make sure they are reasonable, informed and applicable to the situations to which you are applying them.

Head over to our Facebook page, and let us know: Is there a work situation you wish you could redo once you stepped back and realized the real problem related to unspoken expectations? What happened?

Nancy Stoker is a Senior Client Services Representative and Research Associate with ExecSearches.com. She can be reached at nancys@execsearches.com.

ExecSearches.com is a job board for nonprofit job seekers interested in fundraising, management and executive nonprofit jobs.

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Last updated on September 18th, 2012 at 05:03 pm