No matter the role you play during any given moment, your ability to listen tends to be a huge key to success in the relationship. Your ability to engage in listening – yes, engage in listening – is often determinant of a good outcome in any exchange. This skill is no less important in the workplace, whether you are the employee or the CEO, than it is in any other affiliation. And, in all cases, you want to do your best. To that end, take a look at the common mistakes people make while listening according to Alison Davis, and then consider how to avoid them:

Wait Your Turn. Only when two people are falling in love is interrupting ever considered cute because it’s often considered a sign of knowing each other so well. The novelty eventually turns into annoyance even for the love birds, so don’t kid yourself that your interruption adds anything productive or worthwhile to a conversation.

The hiring manager wants to finish the question before you start answering what wasn’t asked. Your coworkers want to contribute as much as you do. Interrupting sends the signal that what you have to say is far more important than the person speaking. And, more often than not, it simply makes you look rude. Fortunately, this is an easy situation to fix: Stop doing it. Have faith that your turn will come.

Show Interest. I once had a boss who thought he honed the skill of yawning with his mouth shut. He failed to keep his face from moving while holding his lips shut, and he couldn’t control the muscles around his eyes during this process, but I guess he thought he was doing those around him favors. Frankly, I always wished he would just yawn and give a throw-away statement like, “Oh, excuse me! I think I’ve hit an afternoon lull. It’s not you.” Even if he didn’t mean it, at least no one would have to pretend the covert yawn didn’t just happen.

Be very aware of your body language and what it communicates. A yawn, a glance at your watch while you stretch a little, resting your head in your hand while you look around the room all communicate disinterest no matter your actual intention. It’s not up to your employee to decipher if you find input or a proposal insignificant or, maybe, you’re just tired. Make sure you see yourself as others do. Control your body to communicate what you really mean and to give the respect others deserve.

Work the Actual Agenda, Not Just Your Own. No matter how much experience, knowledge and ability we have, one thing that can be difficult to accept is how very small our own worlds are. This is particularly true when we don’t allow others and their ideas into our space. I have to admit having worked in one place long enough that when the new boss proposed change, I was resistant. Why fix what isn’t broken, right? The joke was on me, though, as the newbie was a visionary whose ideas remain part of a widespread trend in that industry.

When up against a problem or when offering a solution, be as open to the thoughts of others as you want them to be of yours. It’s great to be confident in what you bring to the table, but others are likely as confident in their ideas. What an enriching situation when a lot of intelligent people put together their great ideas to develop better results than any could create as an individual! This only happens when egos are checked at the door, and there is a willingness to hear the perspective of others.

Put Down the Gavel. Don’t you just hate when a supervisor seems to dismiss your fresh, untested ideas? Isn’t it even worse when you are only part-way into your proposal when you are told the many ways it won’t work? (Hint: The supervisor is no fan of employees shutting their minds on his or her innovative ideas, either.) Judging a situation or proposition before hearing it in its entirety is limiting if not destructive. I honestly do not think most people consider themselves judgmental; they’ve just spun the concept to genuinely believe they have the experience or have already done the work to come up with the solution or have the perspective.

Allow yourself and those around you the opportunity to grow by staying open to the perspective of others before deciding you already know best. Consider the exchange among people as an evaluative process rather than working to quickly determine right and wrong. Challenge each other to find what is valid and productive about the others’ positions, and see what pieces work together to form the best plans.

Clarify Main Points Or Questions. How many times have you been in a meeting where you didn’t quite catch all of the details of the plan going forward, but you remained silent because everyone else seemed to get it? The only thing silence assures is that no one else asked a question. It is not a fool-proof indication that everyone understands. Even if they do, what does that have to do with you?

Clarifying what is said or asked is not an indication that you weren’t smart enough to get it the first time. When in doubt, whether in a group or one-on-one, take the opportunity to restate what you understand, and ask if that is the intended take away. Clarification isn’t what causes problems; going forth without truly understanding the direction is what tends to derail endeavors.

Hearing words pass over our ears while thinking about what we want to say is not the same thing as actively listening. Intentionally working on this skill will contribute not only to your own successes, but it will also help you accurately keep your finger on the pulse of what’s happening around you. Apply these ideas to networking, interviewing, being supervised and when you lead. Just as important as the knowledge you gain through your professional experiences, active listening absolutely contributes to your life’s successes.

Davis, Allison. “Are You a Lousy Listener? Stop Making These 5 Mistakes.” Inc. Mansueto Ventures. 2016. Web. (25 July 2016)

Nancy Stoker is a Senior Client Services Representative and Research Associate with ExecSearches.com. ExecSearches provides various recruitment and executive search services for nonprofits including its nonprofit job board.

Last updated on January 11th, 2017 at 07:19 pm