The Difference Between Kind and Nice

by | Jul 29, 2014 | Advice, Featured, Management | 0 comments

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leadQuestion:  I struggle to be the kind of boss my employees will respect and like.  But, I am often confronted with shoddy work, poor employee attitudes and mistakes that shouldn’t be happening.  What I am supposed to do?  Can I continue to be nice while things fall apart?

Answer:  The quick answer is that it is sometimes more important to be fair and tough than to be “nice.”  Nice alone does not cut it.

There is much talk about how to balance real pressure to perform against the desire to create a healthy work environment, and striking that balance can be tough especially given that you, as a boss, have a boss. All bosses have deadlines to meet and quality standards to achieve all the while receiving the consistent message that the bottom line is the bottom line. Every boss wants results – not excuses

So, how do you meet the bottom line, exceed expectations and push employees to deliver the very best while also being “nicey-nicey?”  The answer is: You don’t.  You have to set clear expectations and demand productivity.  In non-profit environments, this so often means delivering a high-end product with a low-end budget without missing a beat.  As a boss, your job is neither easy nor “nice.”

In a recent article, “Be Kind to Your Employees, but Don’t Always Be Nice,” (Pallotta, Dan. March 2014.), Pallotta argues you may want to focus on creating a culture that is “kind, great, loving and powerful.” His recipe for achieving this includes:

  • Tell all potential employees they are going to be pushed at your company and that it is going to be the best experience of their lives.
  • Before hiring new employees, confirm that they are agreeing to a culture and context of greatness before they come on board.
  • Hire professionals that keep the context of greatness alive at all levels.
  • Help employees distinguish between “malevolent intimidation” and “tough love.”
  • Establish a zero-tolerance policy for malevolent behavior.
  • Make sure systems and professionals are in place to “help people talk it through and talk it out.”

Admittedly, this kind of outline does not always translate in such a way that you, as a boss, are always able to appear to be “nice.” As boss, you have demands on your time.  You have to be productive and make sure your work is high quality.  You need to respect deadlines and make your leaders look good.  You are constantly balancing multiple personalities and factors.  And, probably, you have to do all of this on a tight budget.

The pressure of any workplace can get intense, and the requirements never let up.  Give yourself permission to be honest, direct and, as needed, demanding.  As long as you remain fair-minded and avoid personal attacks, this is all a legitimate part of your role.  As leader, being liked must sometimes take second place to being effective.

Contact Karen Alphonse at Karena@execSearches.com or visit ExecSearches.com for more information about our career coaching services.

ExecSearches.com is a job board for nonprofit job seekers interested in fundraising, management and executive nonprofit jobs.

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